Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
