I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
