I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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