I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
