I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
