Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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