so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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