I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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