wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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