Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
