I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
