whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Bring me that man meat
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
