how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just had sex on a roof
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize