I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
