is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
