that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
