Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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