It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
