Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
