I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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