what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
