It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just invented taco cereal.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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