so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
