I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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