Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
