is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
