do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize