I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
