I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
