were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
