god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
