I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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