sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize