I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
