I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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