with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
