I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
