I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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