last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
