i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
