That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
