So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
