his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
