I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
