threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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