were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
