After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
