i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
