I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I see more hoeing in ur future
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
