Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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