the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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