Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
