Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
