don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
