i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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