i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
