That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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