Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
