Soap is not a condiment
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize