The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize