Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
