he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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